As I look back on my life and consider Lamenting Prayer, as I have spoken of in the past few days, I am remembering times in my spiritual life when I have been in tears. Tears are often a characteristic of Lamenting Prayer.
What I remember of my weeping prayer, of crying, is that it has always brought me to the Lord, to giving to Him what I am weeping about. Weeping prayer has pulled me away from trying to fix my life, fix my issues, and fix my specific prayers to God. And weeping prayer has also pulled me away from believing that I have to understand. That’s why my crying has always compelled me to forgive as fast and as deeply as possible! My weeping prayer has compelled me to give up trying to make rhyme or reason or blame or who’s right or who’s wrong.
Needing to make myself justified has always led me to a dead end in my spiritual journey. I seem to know deeply when I am feeling a need to be justified, and I run from this as fast as I can. God inevitably leads me to give all my needs to Him in prayer, especially in weeping prayer. There is no home base in having to understand or to become justified in my prayer. Whenever I have gone to the place of tears, it has been to go to an inner place or attitude where, when I can’t fix it, I can’t explain it, I can’t control it, and I can’t even understand it, I can only forgive it. I have to let go of it, weep over it literally and figuratively. Weeping — or grieving — prayer is a different way of living.
I am still learning that I really cannot “fix” or “move on” with an issue in my life. But still, I have to learn to grieve, to mourn, without seeking the condolences of God. Sometimes I just have to live in my aching. I am no longer surprised by the pain of sadness and pain in prayer. I am living today with afflictions not merely of the spirit but also of the body, of aches and lagging strength. Flesh, muscles, organs are all compromised. No physical position is consistently comfortable. My spirit seems more in need of God’s grace and mercy than ever before.
I am learning to embrace God in my weeping prayer.
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me a sinner.
From the Bible:
“1
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2
He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters;
3
he restores my soul. He leads me in right paths for his name’s sake.
4
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
6
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord my whole life long” Psalm 23.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.
“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” John 16:33.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly” John 10:10.
“1
You who live in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty,
2
will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress; my God, in whom I trust.”
3
For he will deliver you from the snare of the hunter and from the deadly pestilence;
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he will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and defense.
5
You will not fear the terror of the night or the arrow that flies by day
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or the pestilence that stalks in darkness or the destruction that wastes at noonday.
7
A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
8
You will only look with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
9
Because you have made the Lord your refuge, the Most High your dwelling place,
10
no evil shall befall you, no scourge come near your tent.
11
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.
12
On their hands they will bear you up, so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.
13
You will tread on the lion and the adder; the young lion and the serpent you will trample under foot.
14
Those who love me, I will deliver; I will protect those who know my name.
15
When they call to me, I will answer them; I will be with them in trouble; I will rescue them and honor them.
16
With long life I will satisfy them and show them my salvation” Psalm 91.
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